<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Him &amp; I by KelseyKawaii</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24428293">Him &amp; I</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KelseyKawaii/pseuds/KelseyKawaii'>KelseyKawaii</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twilight Series - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Closeted Character, F/M, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Immortality, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Same-Sex Marriage, Vampires</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:40:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,486</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24428293</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KelseyKawaii/pseuds/KelseyKawaii</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>|LGBTQ+|</p>
<p>Asher &amp; Jasper were  -lovers- once. They were never serious, and they were never supposed to meet again, but now they have. Will this chance meeting rekindle old emotions and feelings long buried?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Jasper Hale &amp; Maria, Jasper Hale/Original Male Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. CHAPTER ONE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I love you."<br/>"Don't - we can't."<br/>"Please tell me you love me too."<br/>"We both agreed this wouldn't be serious. That nobody would ever find out. Come on, Ash. This was all very nice but, we should go before someone sees us."</p>
<p>_____________________________________<br/> Rejection is the worst. Ask almost anyone and they will visibly cringe as they recall a time they were rejected by someone they loved, or someone they thought they loved. Asher Jameson was no different, unfortunately. The memories of Jasper Whitlock haunted his every thought for years. He longed to feel skin against skin, lips against lips, to feel his breath on his neck - but he also longed for the laughs, the smiles, and even the conversations under the starlight. </p>
<p>Just the two of them, laying on a blanket - with only Jasper's major hat in between them. Pointing to stars, naming constellations. Asher would have his hands placed on his stomach, Jasper would have his behind his head. At some point, they would end up kissing. Asher really wasn't sure how it all started, but it just felt right. That was how Asher finally came to terms with his sexuality, because of his feelings for Jasper. Although, since Jasper was seeing Maria, it was a secret romance. They had both agreed to keep it casual but, Asher figured the feelings would eventually become so overwhelming that they couldn't ignore it anymore. Although, that only happened for him. </p>
<p>Jasper left him. He wasn't sure where he went, or why. Just that one morning after he admitted he was in love with him - Jasper was gone. He was utterly heartbroken, but he tried his hardest to remain strong and stay with his coven. That didn't last, either. Living his daily routine without Jasper was really difficult, because he was the only thing he could think about, since they usually did it all together. Asher left and settled in New York for a few years, then Ohio, then London. Alone.</p>
<p>That is, until he met Lucy, an Icelandic Vampire.</p>
<p>He left behind that life, and took her as his mate. He forgot about being a gay man. He forgot about Jasper Whitlock. It took hundreds of years - but he finally did it. She was lovely, so beautiful and so kind. She introduced him to 'Vegetarianism' and made him a better man - and a better vampire. Unfortunately, they could not settle properly and have a baby, and Lucy never wanted to get married, but it did kill them that they could not bring a baby into the world. </p>
<p>"I really wish we could have mini Asher's running around" she would say, emitting a small giggle. <br/>"Me too," Asher would sigh, "I wish it were possible."<br/>"No worries. At least we have each other - forever."<br/>"Forever."<br/>It felt nice, knowing that there was someone out there who would never leave him. Who wouldn't fail him like Jasper. Who kissed him and loved him always. Even if he was unsure of whether he loved her, too. Nevertheless, moving on was the only thing that made him better. Before then, he was a broken mess. </p>
<p>So now, it was time to up and move again. </p>
<p>Lucy had her sights set on somewhere more secluded - so she decided on Forks,  Washington, a small town with a small population. It seemed perfect, but it would only work for a little while. If the population was really as small as Lucy had said, they would catch on in a few years that they didn't age. Still, it was a change of scenery from their home in Brooklyn, New York. <br/>"Are you sure this is the place you want to spend the next few years?" Asher asked with a raised brow, watching Lucy put away their degree parchments that had been placed on their living room wall. </p>
<p>Asher had three degrees over the years - English literature from New York University, Mathematics from Oxford and Engineering from University of Oslo, where they had spent five years together. Lucy had two, Philosophy from New York University and Humanities from Oslo. <br/>"Oh, yes!" she nodded, "I need a change from the city life, you know? You do, too."<br/>He approached her and started to help her put some stuff into boxes. <br/>"You're right," he said, examining a photo of them from 1949. <br/>"We were cute, even then" she giggled. <br/>"Always will be" he winked. <br/>"True" she giggled, pecking his lips from across the boxes. </p>
<p>He smiled warmly, following her upstairs to their attic where they were going to get more stuff for the moving van which would be there in two hours time. <br/>Lucy started rooting around for things they wanted to bring with them, while Asher just looked over some of the things they decided they didn't want to bring the day they started to pack, just in case they missed something important.<br/>"Do you want this, babe?" she asked. Asher spun around, eyes widening at the sight of the object in his partner's hands. He hadn't seen that in years, he wasn't even sure he had it anymore.</p>
<p>Jasper's hat. </p>
<p>"Yes. Of course" he said coldly. Lucy observed it.<br/>"Are you sure? It's very old looking."<br/>"I said yes."<br/>"Okay, gee" she said, rolling her eyes and shoving it into a box angrily, "I don't know what your deal is with that hat, but you need to let it go eventually."<br/>"Hm." </p>
<p>"Ash?"<br/>"Yeah?<br/>"What is the deal with it? It seems to invoke some sort of anger in you. It might not be healthy to keep it."<br/>'Anger?' he thought, 'sure, but more so heartache.'<br/>"It's just an important part of my past that I don't want to forget about, okay?"<br/>"Okay, sweetie."<br/>"I'm really sorry" he said, approaching her and pressing a kiss to her temple, brushing her golden blonde hair out of the way, "I love you so much."<br/>"I love you too," she replied, "now, help me with these boxes, yeah?"</p>
<p>Asher picked up one of the boxes, and they sped up and down the stairs, leaving the boxes at the front door and lining the hallway of their house. <br/>"Perfect" Lucy smiled, clapping her hands together, "we did it just in time."<br/>She could smell the male at the door a mile away. On queue, the doorbell rang and the mover guy was standing there, a bored look on his face. <br/>"Ready?" he questioned.<br/>"Ready" they both smiled, holding hands. </p>
<p>So, it was a new start for them. Little did they know - it could potentially be their end, too.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. CHAPTER TWO</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The journey to Forks, Washington would be boring to most, but when you have lived for hundreds of years, you get used to it. Their new home was perfect - a small, two bedroom wood cabin in the woods. Lucy was fascinated with it, as was Asher, so they took their time looking around (yet again, it wasn't their first time seeing it of course) and then started to help the movers bring their furniture inside. They spent the entire night packing things away in their newly designated places, and moving furniture to the correct rooms. They were the type of vampires who had beds in case humans ever came to visit (they did make human friends over they years - but then had to cut off all contact at random points).</p><p>Lucy sat down on their touch in the living room, smiling up at her partner with loving eyes.<br/>"I'm so glad we're finally here."<br/>"Me too" he said, sitting beside her, and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.<br/>"I couldn't help but spot a home close to ours" Lucy began, "we should stop by tomorrow and say hello to our new neighbours."<br/>"We should" he agreed, nuzzling the side of her face. </p><p>She giggled, "what are you doing?"<br/>"I'm in the mood," he mumbled, beginning to nibble on her ear gently, "this is our home now, we can do whatever we want."<br/>"I don't think so" she said, standing up, "I want to get some work done for school Monday."<br/>"Do we really have to pretend we're students again?" he sighed, "we've graduated too many times over the years."<br/>Really, he was disappointed. They hadn't made love in a long time. Years, even. He thought maybe it was boring for her now, but it wasn't for him. </p><p>"yes, Ash. We do, or else things will look suspicious" she reminded him. Asher hung his head, annoyed. She ignored him and just started pacing the room. <br/>"Ash, about the hat."<br/>"What about it?" he asked crossly.<br/>"It's been on my mind for a long time but - it makes you act differently. Like you hate me or something."<br/>"Of course I don't hate you, babe."<br/>"Then tell me the truth."<br/>He couldn't possibly. His mind raced as he tried to think of a lie. He had never thought she would question it, since she usually allowed him to keep it to himself. Where it belonged.</p><p>"Did it belong to someone you lost?" she asked, sitting back down beside him and resting her hand on his thigh.<br/>"Yeah, I guess you could say that" he smiled weakly. <br/>"I'm sorry, Ash. I don't mean to be pushy, just...it's clearly a man's hat and I got a little bit worried."<br/>"Worried? Why?"<br/>"That you...liked them."<br/>"Who?"<br/>"Men, Ash!"<br/>"What's wrong with men liking men?"</p><p>"It's not...natural. Just because society has changed since we were changed, doesn't make it right. People only think it's right because that's what they want to believe. Not because it's true."<br/>Asher felt the anger bubbling inside of him, but he refused to explode. If he did, she would know. A part of him wanted to chew her out, but it wasn't worth it. Losing the only thing he had wasn't worth it one bit. <br/>"Well, opinions differ I suppose" was his calm reply.<br/>"We agree on everything" she said sadly, "that's what makes us so amazing together."<br/>"Yeah? Well not this."<br/>"Why not?"<br/>"I just figure that if God didn't want people to be gay, or different, he wouldn't have made us to begin with. What's the point in everyone being the same? It's just...boring."</p><p>"I suppose."<br/>"Look, let's drop the conversation. You don't like gays, I'm not gay, and he was just a very close friend who I lost, alright?"<br/>"Alright. Okay. I'm so sorry."<br/>"Yeah, yeah" he sighed, standing up, "I'm going for a walk."<br/>"Please don't be mad at me. It was worrying me because you were so attached to the hat, which indicates that you are attached to the person who once wore it. I knew it was a man's hat, s-so..."<br/>He didn't want to argue with her, even though he felt like she was being extremely unfair. But there was one last thing on his mind:</p><p>"Why don't you sleep with me?"<br/>"Hm?"<br/>"You heard" he said, "that's been on my mind. No excuses, Lucy. I need to know the truth."<br/>She stood up, cupping his face in her hands and kissing his lips softly. When she pulled her lips away, she continued to cup his face.<br/>"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I just don't like sex anymore."<br/>"Am I no good?"<br/>"No, you're amazing...it's just...doing it with the same person for hundreds of years is boring, don't you think?"<br/>If his heart was beating, Asher was certain it would stop in that moment. Did she really just say that?</p><p>"Not in a bad way, of course" she said, noticing his expression, "I think I worded that wrong."<br/>"Yeah, you've been doing that a lot lately" he grumbled, remembering her gay comments moments before. He pulled away from her embrace slowly. Was she falling out of love with him, but was too afraid to say anything in case they had to go their separate ways? He wouldn't just leave her alone. Never. He cared for her too much to do that.<br/>"You're the best person I have ever met" she said sadly, "I don't want you to leave me ever, but I just don't feel like having sex right now. Maybe it'll change in the future." </p><p>"I understand all that" he said, "but...the boring comment made me feel...sad."<br/>She pursed her lips, moving towards him again, "I didn't mean it that way, Ash. I don't want to see anyone else or anything, I just think you and I have been together for a long time and - we're at a point where we're like-"<br/>"Friends?" he asked, cutting her off. She nodded sadly. It was bound to happen someday. When her love would turn to friendship. When they would no longer be romantic partners and would become platonic instead. <br/>"I think we're here for a new start and - we should treat it as such. Meet someone else, but stay together as friends."<br/>"Can't we make it work..?" he asked her quietly.</p><p>She shook her head - and just like that - there it was again. REJECTION. <br/>Asher bit down hard on his bottom lip. <br/>"Got it."<br/>There was no point in arguing, or hating each other. They were beyond that. It was time to move on with Lucy - as friends - and pretend like the past few hundred years never happened. </p><p>When Lucy went upstairs to read and give him some space, Asher flopped down on the couch and switched on the TV. An old, western film was playing on a movie channel. He stared blankly at the screen, not really taking it in, but his eyes landed on the major on horseback, ordering his men around to safety. The hat. That cocky smile. The uniform. The golden blonde hair. It reminded Asher of him. It would be a lie to say that Asher didn't think of him often, but for the first time in a long time - he found himself wondering how he was. What he was doing. Who with. How close, or how far away was he? Was he happy? In love? Heartbroken? Somehow dead? </p><p>He blamed him entirely for how he ended up. <br/>"God damn you, Jasper Whitlock," he mumbled, leaning his head back against the couch, "just...God damn you."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Asher had decided not to attend school. </p><p>After all, he found school both terrifying and annoying. With so many people around, bumping into him - the smell of blood became quickly unbearable. Even after hundreds of years, he still craved the taste of blood. No matter how hard he tried to shake it. With Lucy and him broken up, and his mind so fucked up - he was unpredictable. Lucy begged him to go with her. He had declined over and over until he snapped at her. She was upset but he knew she would get over it. She did, of course, as predicted. </p><p>He was home alone. Something he preferred often, but never really had the chance to do. That is, until a soft knock came on his front door. Head buried in a book about politics in 1800's England, he let out a soft groan. Within seconds, he was at the front door. He quickly opened it, and the scent hit him. A vampire. No, a group of vampires. He didn't know if they were a threat. Then, it hit him that they wouldn't exactly knock on his front door if they desired to harm him. They would just...come in. </p><p>"Good morning," he said quietly. <br/>"Good morning, Mr. We've brought you some cookies."<br/>"Oh, that would be lovely if I could eat," he chuckled. The pale-faced male before him nodded, chuckling along with him.<br/>"So it seems."<br/>"Please, do come in." </p><p>They piled into his home, looking around at the decor. <br/>"Ooh, this place is decorated so beautifully! It's modern."<br/>"Thanks, my friend did it."<br/>Friend. That felt weird. So, so weird. <br/>"Well, is your friend here?" the male who had stood up front at the door asked.<br/>"She's at school."<br/>"Oh? I'm Carlisle," he said, then motioned to the other vampires surrounding him, "this is my wife, Esme, and my 'adopted children', Edward, his wife, Bella, their daughter Renesmee. Also-"<br/>Asher tilted his head to the side, observing the child. Carlisle stopped, noticing his confusion.<br/>"It's a little hard to explain."</p><p>"Ah?" Asher nodded. His eyes trailed to the back of the pile of vampires standing in his hallway. That's when his eyes met with his. There was no mistaking those eyes. Despite the fact that they were now a completely different colour - amber - they still sparkled with the same pain that Asher's did. They held their gaze. The other male looked like he was in severe pain, like he was holding his breath, but obviously Asher knew better than that.</p><p>"Y-" he was about to say "you", but he couldn't even talk. Carlisle's eyes followed Asher's gaze, stopping on his 'adopted' son. The girl clinging to him raised both eyebrows, Asher had just noticed her now that he had pulled his gaze away.  She was soft looking, very pretty. <br/>"This is Jasper and Alice. Then Rosalie and Emmett."<br/>Emmett gave him a small wave. Asher returned the wave, looking at anyone and everyone except Jasper. He had almost whispered "I know" when Carlisle introduced him. </p><p>"Well..." Asher started, motioning towards the living room, "make yourselves comfortable."<br/>"We surely will," Emmett began, but just as Jasper went to follow everyone else into the room, Alice held him back, whispering something to him. Asher could have heard but - he was focused on everyone else. <br/>"We need to go. Welcome to our town" Alice said, taking Jasper's hand and pulling him out the door. Asher stood there, looking after them. </p><p>'He's happy' he thought to himself, half relieved, half upset, 'he's got a girl.'<br/>Snapping his thoughts back to reality, he entered the living room, "I'd offer you some coffee but - yeah."<br/>Everyone chuckled, shaking their heads at his joke. He was trying to be a gracious neighbor. After all, he wasn't used to being 'friends' with vampires. He wanted to, though, especially since Lucy was no longer his girlfriend. <br/>"So your friend, are they...?" Esme started. He took a seat beside her on the couch, trying not to squish too close.<br/>"Yeah, she is. We've been together since...since a long, long time."<br/>"So you've been one of us for years?" Edward questioned. Their daughter played with a toy on the floor. Asher was still confused about how that came about, but he knew it was none of his business to question them  - and frankly. he didn't care.</p><p>"Oh, yeah. Hundreds of years" he said, motioning towards Bella, "you haven't been for long though, have you?"<br/>"How did you-" she started. Asher smiled.<br/>"Just a guess."<br/>Bella smiled, nodding her head a little bit, "good guess."<br/>"Yeah. Well, Lucy was a vampire before me. She's been on one hell of an adventure."<br/>"That's awesome," Emmett said, leaning forward and clasping his hands together, "we're a close knit family and we don't usually interact with other vamps for obvious reasons but, now that you're in town...we'd love for you and your friend Lucy to join us for a baseball game this Saturday."<br/>"Oh? That sounds lovely" Asher said. He was about to come up with some lame excuse for why he couldn't go but...his mind trailed back to Jasper. In that moment, he could feel Jasper's lips against his ear. Teasing him, softly jeering him. <br/>"You need to loosen up, relax a bit" he would say. <br/>"Tch, I am relaxed!" Asher would protest loudly, "now go away." Asher would place his hands on his chest.<br/>"Why don't you push me? You're just as strong as I am."<br/>Yet, no matter how much he teased him - Asher wouldn't push him away, because he liked it. </p><p>Was this some higher power pushing them back together after all that time? He couldn't help but think it was. He hadn't seen Jasper in hundreds of years. Sure, they were bound to bump into each other at some point but why when Asher was going through a breakup? <br/>"I'd love to" he nodded, realising he had been quiet for too long. <br/>"You sure?" Carlisle questioned.<br/>"Absolutely. Lucy will be delighted to hear about this. She loves making friends."<br/>"Great" Edward said, standing up, "meet us in the back field at 6. Is that okay?"<br/>"Sure" Asher grinned, standing up along with everyone else. They were leaving, he was sort of relieved. </p><p>"It was nice to meet you, Asher."<br/>Asher chuckled, "I'm sorry. I didn't introduce myself properly. Totally forgot."<br/>"That's fine. Asher...?"<br/>"Asher. Just Asher." <br/>"I see," Carlisle nodded, "well, Asher. Till Saturday. Let's go, everyone."<br/>Asher seen them out, then leaned against the door. His legs were shaking. Was this really happening? Was this a sign? He had to get him alone somehow. They needed to talk...</p><p>It was long overdue.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>